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In reference to my most recent post Joan writes:
Wow. I have such mixed feelings about your news. You are so bitchy that I cannot imagine you would be a very loving parent. Profs don't have to be substitute parents but they do have to have some mentoring abilities and you have shown absolutely none in your rants against your students. I have wondered about the deal with your dog so it makes sense that you have a dog and not a kid. Please really get your act together before you make this decision. You can't change kids like you did universities. What you get is what you live with, love, nurture (if you have that in you which I doubt), support forever even if she is not the picture perfect baby/child/teen/young adult you think you deserve.
Oh, sweetie. You obviously believe that one can gain a full picture of what a person is like by reading her or his blog. I'm sorry you are so naive; hopefully you're not a grad student because this would really reflect poorly on the critical thinking/information literacy abilities (or lack thereof) you've picked up in your studies.
A few quick comments. First, your reference to changing universities is lost on me as people (not just academics) change jobs (even careers, in fact!) all the time. Perhaps you are unhappy at your job or feel stuck and are doing a bit of transference, hmmm?
Second, it's not at all clear what you meant by "the deal with your dog." (I have 3 dogs, by the way, not one; something you'd probably know if you actually read this blog). Please, when criticizing someone, try to make your criticisms more clear. (Notice my attention to detail in my rants about students.)
Third, of course no one "deserves" a "picture perfect" child. However, often times children's behaviors reflect those of their caregivers and if children (and young adults) have entitlement issues and believe the world revolves around them it is often largely a result of how those children were raised (you may wish to read about Millenials and helicopter parents for a glimpse into these issues). So no, I don't expect any sort of behavior from a child. I do, however, have expectations that Mr. Cheeky and I will try our hardest not to facilitate this bullshit that we (and most of our friends and peers) find so obnoxious and offensive in many young people these days.
Last but not least--and certainly the most fun for me--I'll probably delete any future comments from you that I don't like. (Ooops, is that bitchy of me? I hope so. I've worked so hard for this reputation!) You see, that's the right one has with one's own blog. Of course, it's your right to not read this blog and expose yourself to my fiendish ways, or to start your own blog and rant all about me. Hell, you could even come up w/ some cool name like "Concerned Americans Against Cheeky." I'd be honored, actually.
I hope you don't mind that I'm drawing my readers' attention to your comment as I've got a feeling they'll enjoy it as much as I do.
Holy. Crap.
That's about all I have to say.
Okay, no, it's not - that's one of the MOST OUTRAGEOUS COMMENTS I've ever heard. Wow. Apart from what you've posted, did it ever occur to Joan that one of the reasons you rant about student problems, is because you actually give a shit, and have standards, and all that stuff?
Actually, I kind of feel sorry for someone who completely doesn't get the fact that people are complicated, and that hence, someone who's bitchy can in fact be loving, and that one's role in one's profession has almost nothing to do with one's role as a parent.
Wow.
Wow. I think you've been out-cheeked!
As someone who is intentionally childless, it always strikes me how random strangers feel it's their right to judge and/or give advice about other people's child-rearing decisions. Heaven knows there are plenty of awful parents out there: some of them chose to have children, and some had children by accident. The amount of scrutiny an adoptive couple has to withstand assures that adoptive parents are more qualified than most "natural" parents, imo. Most folks don't have to pass scrutiny to conceive, but adoptive parents do.
I have no doubt you & Mr. Cheeky will be great parents, cheeky commenters be damned.
who is this joan person and what is her problem? seriously.... what a weirdo.
I think it's fabulous that you are going to adopt a child. You and J.Tonic will absolutely rock as parents.
OK. I'll say it...Who the fuck does this woman think she is. (And if the commenter is reading this, don't think I won't bitch slap you on my blog if you remark about this comment, Miss Thang.)
Raising children is WAY different than teaching college students. And to suggest that we would use the same techniques is very short sighted. We rant about students as a means of stress relief. If this person has never ranted or complained to a friend or family member about her child, she is either lying or delusional.
The fact that you left a job that was not healthy for you show courage and grace, not selfishness. It shows that you make careful decision with respect to what is best for your family.
Cheeky, you and your husband will make wonderful parents. Don't let the arrogance and ignorance of this person bring you down.
It's time like this I channel my inner southern belle.
Poor Joan is a bit misguided and mean-spirited, bless her heart.
I can't even think of anything mean enough to say. What a fucking bitch.
Oh. My.
It goes without saying that Joan is . . . misguided, as PPB so kindly put it.
I'd like to reassure her that I myself have been described, by students, with various expletives, and yet, somehow I have managed to love my own child. I like to think I am a good mother to her. I also suspect that at one point, she too will use an expletive to describe me, possibly because I am doing something that I will consider good mothering. It's funny how that works.
Interestingly, though, (and Joan might want to take note of this) none of y'all would be able to confirm that I am or am not a good mother, because y'all know me from a BLOG. And that's not really sufficient for measuring mothering capabilities. Again, crazy how it works, isn't it?
Wow.
Wow. What, erm, cheek! I hope that Joan realizes how badly she's come off with her unsupported assumptions. You responded with style, though! (Psst -- this is the blogger formerly known as ancarett.)
Oh--and congratulations on your news! Baby girls are wonderful. I think you're going to love being a mom!
I love the intro --the "such mixed feelings" bit.
She's like a telemarketer comment-person: trying to rope you in by pretending to be nice and concerned, and then completely overlooking you as a person with more than just one dimension and thinking you a simple child=doll kind of person.
Someone needs to hit her with a bottle of Midol upside her dumbassed head.
What is it with all the trolls? They seem to be everywhere these days. Have we had a full moon?
Your response was perfect, but she wasn't worth your time in responding.
You and Mr. Cheeky will be terrific parents!!! I look forward to reading more about your journey.
Yes. How dare you presume to be a mother when you a) are outspoken b) have ever changed jobs c) have a dog (??) and d) have high expectations of your students. You should be preachy and judgmental like all of us ideal parents.
OMG. What a total bitch! What the hell is wrong with people?
What an awful comment. Great response though - don't cheek Cheeky! :)
God I hope she didn't graduate from my school! Think not: at least most of our kids have a sense of humor. I suspect New Kid is on the right track. The one thing I do that infuriates some parents is demanding accountability.
I wonder if St. Joan is a parent? If so, she sounds curiously unhappy about it ("what you get is what you live with"?) Sad.
Wow- that is very bizarre. I can't imagine how someone would (a) draw such conclusions about you as a person, when she hasn't actually met you, and (b) confront you with such ideas! How very strange, indeed.
She's a weirdo. You'll be great parents.
